


chemical building block

by supernaturalsun



Series: acetylene [1]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: (light angst to be honest), (until they fix it), Angst with a Happy Ending, Lack of Communication, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:20:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25916503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernaturalsun/pseuds/supernaturalsun
Summary: Gabe watches EJ falling in love with Nate before he realizes that he’s doing the same.EJ notices Gabe catching feelings for Tyson before he understands that he’s doing it too.Gabe learns that he’s allowed to be in love with several people at a time and that he can be smart enough to figure everything out.
Relationships: Erik Johnson/Gabriel Landeskog, Gabriel Landeskog/Nathan MacKinnon, Tyson Barrie/Erik Johnson/Gabriel Landeskog/Nathan MacKinnon, Tyson Barrie/Gabriel Landeskog
Series: acetylene [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1901284
Comments: 5
Kudos: 42
Collections: Avs Rarepairs Exchange 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [puckstrxck](https://archiveofourown.org/users/puckstrxck/gifts).



> Hi, this was my first time participating in an exchange and I was very exited to do it.
> 
> I didn’t end up choosing one of your prompts but I kept elements from it and your Dear Author Letter. I gathered that you enjoyed poly, you proposed Nate/Gabe(/Sid) and Nate/EJ so I thought Gabe/EJ/Nate/Tyson should be fine.
> 
> I tried to put in this (some appearing in chapter 2) :  
> \- Communication/Issues with Communication,  
> \- Meeting the Family,  
> \- Physical Intimacy.
> 
> I guess you can also find some angst, definitely with a happy ending.
> 
> I tried my best and I hope you will enjoy it.
> 
> This fic is part of a series (that I will link in one week when there is the Author Reveal I guess) which I called _acetylene_ because it’s a molecule which is composed of 4 atoms. _chemical building block_ is part of the description/properties of acetylene.

**[2011-2012]**

**SEPTEMBER.** Gabriel Landeskog meets Erik Johnson during camp, two months and a half after being drafted 2nd overall by the Colorado Avalanche. 

It shouldn’t mean much. It doesn’t, right then.

Gabe meets a lot of his teammates and among all of them, there’s this tall, quiet guy, the one who tore his ACL in the dumbest of ways and who has his wish to redeem himself written on his face and the dedication he puts into drills, unwavering and beautiful.

It shouldn’t be a big deal, to spend so much time on the ice with him, focused and eager to connect. Gabe’s a professional hockey player now, building chemistry with the guys is part of the job.

It’s not like it’s going to shake his whole word or anything.

~

**DECEMBER.** They’re put together on the road and their roommates’ situation becomes one of the most interesting situation in Gabe’s life.

Between four walls, two beds, one tv, and a shared bathroom, Gabe gets to see another side of EJ, a less polished one.

He looks so much younger when he’s laughing out tears at something Gabe said when he does small stupidly annoying things to rile Gabe up. One day, Gabe realizes that EJ just looks his actual age. Like he decided to grow up ten years during the summer so people would start taking him seriously again and finally when it’s just the two of them, EJ lets himself be.

Gabe isn’t sure why he gets to be so privileged but he doesn’t feel like sharing too much of it with the rest of the world. He just feels special and doesn’t want it to stop.

~

**FEBRUARY.** It takes a while, for Gabe to realize what’s happening but then he does and he thinks:  _ fuck, not again _ . He wishes he could make himself blind again but there’s so much you can do about how he wants to spend all his time with EJ, how he finds his eyes lingering on his body when he gets out of the shower sometimes, how he feels this vicious hot acid tang of jealousy whenever he sees people hitting on EJ when they’re outside.

It’s juniors all over again, Gabe falling for a teammate, pining for someone he shouldn’t want and can’t have anyway. 

Back then, he’d waited for the end of the season before trying something, making a move that earned him a split lip and insults that still froze his blood a little now. The following months, back home in Sweden he had the chance of having a summer fling with a guy who taught him a lot and gave him back some confidence but this was the NHL, his rookie, year, Gabe couldn’t risk it all for a crush.

~

**APRIL.** Gabe finishes the season with 52 points and having played every single game this season. People say he is a strong competitor for the Calder but that doesn’t take the Avs to the playoffs anyway. 

Their season ends early in April with two defeats but there’s a party thrown in their captain’s house, the last occasion to say goodbye before everyone leaves Colorado for the summer.

Gabe doesn’t mean to get so hammered but the year has been full of  _ so many _ emotions and achievements, and there’s  _ so much _ alcohol available all around, it’s just bound to happen.

It happens and for the first time in his life, Gabe experiences why they call alcohol the courage liquid.

“Easy easy, where are you taking me and why am I following you ?” EJ asks and Gabe doesn’t answer, pulling on EJ’s hand until he can find a spare bedroom and sit the two of them on the bed after having shut the door.

“Do you want to sleep? Because I can take you home if you need me to,” EJ starts. “I mean, I don’t think I can drive yet but I can order a taxi. I’ll even make sure you get to bed alright.”

Gabe groans and he looks at EJ straight in the eyes, focused. “Erik, stop.”

EJ frowns, making a face like he’s the one who’s supposed to be frustrated in the room. It makes him look stupid, bruise on his jaw from where he hit himself the last time they wrestled, wet spot on his t-shirt from where he spilled beer there earlier. Gabe has never been so attracted to him. “Ok, fuck this.”

EJ’s hands immediately fly to his waist when Gabe throws one leg to straddle him and it might be more out of reflex than anything but Gabe still revels in it, a shudder going up to his spine.

He knows that he won’t go through if he leaves himself time to self-doubt so Gabe doesn’t wait for EJ to react, he puts one hand on each of his cheeks and moves forward to crash their mouth together.

It’s not— it’s not the best first kiss, to say the least.

EJ’s not ready for it and Gabe’s too enthusiastic, their teeth clashing, noses bumping until EJ forces Gabe back for a second. He doesn’t leave Gabe much time to think because then EJ is back, at a better angle, and things are slower, still a little frantic but good, definitely better.

Gabe isn’t sure how long they keep kissing, barely taking breaks to breathe, tongues meeting at some point until Gabe bites at EJ’s lower lip, making him groan. The sound makes Gabe moans, low sound deep in his throat, and he rocks forward against EJ’s hips, his hands slipping under EJ’s shirt. 

EJ’s biting on his jaw when they hear a loud boom and people laughing in the hallway behind the door. It stops him dead in his track. “ _ Fuck _ ,” he breathes against Gabe’s skin before drawing back. “Fuck, this was a bad idea,” he continues while using his hands on Gabe’s waist to push him back on his feet and getting up from the bed.

The flush Gabe had been harboring on his face and neck deepens, arousal turning into hurt and shame. Watching EJ raking his hand over his hair, beard burns already apparent on his chin, Gabe feels rooted to his spot, unable to move or say a thing.

“I— I’m sorry. I can’t. We can’t. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m going to leave,” EJ starts again and Gabe is having a hard time looking him in the eyes. He didn’t get punched but the rejection is there, it’s even worse than in juniors. “You’ll be good to go home on your own ?” 

_ Yes, I’m not a fucking baby _ , Gabe wants to say. He doesn’t. When it looks like EJ’s truly waiting for an answer from him, he nods and EJ says something like “Good” or “Okay” or whatever, before finally exiting the room. 

Gabe sits down on the bed, not trusting his legs, his ears ringing and his heart pounding way too hard in his chest. Milan finds him there probably half an hour later. Gabe goes back to the party, have one liter of water before his captain calls a taxi for him.

There’s a text waiting for him and his hungover the next morning. Gabe’s not sure the headache and needs to throw up that follows is only due to the alcohol still coursing through his body.

_ sorry gabe, have a good summer, see you in september _

~

**MAY** . While they had been texting regularly during the season, EJ goes completely MIA on him once the break starts. 

He pipes up sometimes in the team group chat so Gabe knows that he’s alive but on his phone, his thread with EJ is still a line of green bubbles. The last grey one is dated April.

It hurts, Gabe won’t lie. He tries calling a couple of times until his ego is too bruised up to keep going. 

_ It’s fine _ , he tells himself once it’s been a month and his pride takes over. EJ can be a jerk all he wants, it’s not like Gabe needs him in his life at any time.  _ Whatever _ .

~

**JUNE** . Gabe makes a round trip to the US for the NHL awards. He gets to climb on the same stage as Lundqvist and Malkin and he knows players and press alike were talking about him before the break but it’s still mind-blowing, posing next to the Calder, his name imprinted on it.

He follows some people to a party and gets blackout drunk, his Swedish captain apparently getting him to bed if the memories he still has come morning are correct.

For the second time since the season ended, Gabe wakes up with a hangover and text messages he wasn’t expecting from EJ. He almost thinks he’s still drunk when he reads the name on the top of his screen.

_ congratulations, knew you would get it _

_ you looked good on that stage _

_ hope you’re alright _

_ are you going back to freeze your ass off in Sweden? _

_ anyway, got horses to take care of, bye _

_ drink a lot of water _

After blinking at the screen for two solid minutes, Gabe decides to leave it be for now. He goes to his bathroom, turning on his shower to let the warm water hit his head and his shoulders, waking up softly and taking away the various traces of lipstick and glitter he can find on his body.

He grabs water bottles from the mini-fridge and orders room service. The food calming his stomach and making him feel a little more like himself. Gabe takes another look at his phone, answers the congratulatory texts from his family and friends until he’s left with just the one thread.

Gabe’s still mad, that’s a fact. He can hold a grudge, most of the time. He also hasn’t heard anything from EJ in two months and— he  _ misses  _ him.

**Sweden is actually quite warm in the summer, learn your geography please**

**and yes, got a plane tomorrow afternoon**

**thanks**

Gabe keeps hitting  _ send _ and then he sighs. He would really love to be madder at EJ but EJ sucked him right back in with this little bit of attention and Gabe wants more,  _ needs  _ more. The safer option would probably be to stay away but, Gabe’s not even 20, cut him a break.

**also, fuck you**

**be careful with the horses, need you whole for next season**

**~**

**JULY** . They start talking again, after that. More or less on a daily basis, sometimes with phone calls thrown in the mix.

What happened in April is never mentioned, the two of them skating around it with a varsity of other subjects.

Gabe’s happy. Being able to stay in contact with EJ settles something in him and he still wants to kiss him, still wants to spend most of his time with him, still wants to crawl into his lap, hugging him and never letting go.

So, Gabe might have feelings. Feelings which are not ready to go away. 

_ Uh. _

He will be fine.

  
  


**[2012-2013]**

**SEPTEMBER** . Gabe gets named captain on the 6th of September. He gets to be excited about the new season for nine days until the lockout is officially declared. 

Going back to his junior club in Stockholm is an easy decision. He needs to keep playing, he knows the people there, will stay close to his family. It’s the best thing he could get when an NHL season is not on the table.

He tries to convince EJ to come with him, doesn’t reach the stage of begging but walking the fine line of the border until his pride once again catches up to him.

EJ stays in Minnesota. Gabe pretends he’s not disappointed until he has a new team to get acquainted with and keep his brain busy.

~

**NOVEMBER** . They’re good at handling the seven hours of time difference, having already practiced in the summer. It’s a little bit harder because Gabe he’s no longer a complete master of his schedule but he doesn’t play nearly as often as they do in America so it’s still easy to find time for a phone call. 

EJ tells him about his girlfriend halfway through the month and Gabe’s stomach twists, bile rising his throat. He’s not sure EJ meant to talk about her but he mentioned a date after Gabe asked what he was going to do that night and well, he explained.

There’s an undeniable pause after EJ’s done explaining where he met Cristina and to which nice restaurant he took her for their first date a couple of weeks ago. EJ clears his throat, the opposite of discreet and Gabe swallows around the lump in his throat, willing his vocal cords to work.

“Nice,” is what he starts with. 

And then he doesn’t know what to continue with so EJ picks the conversation back up by asking Gabe about his next game and the awkward moment is mostly done.

Before they hang up, he tells EJ to have a good night, not meaning it, and being okay with that. He’s 4000 miles away, he has the right to be jealous. It’s not like there is anyone to notice it anyway.

~

**DECEMBER.** Gabe spends the holidays with his family and they’re barely a week into the new year before he’s taking a plane back to Colorado, the lockout finally over.

He gets to learn the news early by courtesy of his manager and being a captain and everyone else is going to find out soon enough but Gabe calls EJ the minute he’s done smiling like an idiot and jumping around his apartment.

It’s the middle of the night in Minnesota when EJ answers and he’s groggy at first, then worried something happened, annoyed at Gabe for playing with him, and then, Gabe lays the news and he can practically hear EJ’s smile on the other side of the phone.

“God, can’t believe I’m gonna have to see your ugly mug again,” he faux-complains in a true EJ manner. “Plus I’m gonna be under your command? I’ll start a riot the first day we’re back.”

“You love this and you know it,” Gabe grins, still feeling like the situation is kind of surreal. 

“Yeah, yeah,” EJ answers and Gabe has to smile some more, trying to not imagine EJ in his bed with some bed hair and sleep marking his features.

He’s not going down that road again. He’s better now. He’s going to get hockey back and he’ll have EJ back and he’s going to be a  _ captain.  _ This is going to be a fucking great year.

~

**JANUARY.** When EJ wraps his arms around him for the first time in eight months, Gabe thinks he’s never gonna leave his embrace.

It’s stupid, probably childish or cheesy, but with his nose against EJ’s neck, his perfume surrounding him, and EJ’s hands on the small of his back, Gabe feels in the right place. He wouldn’t call it  _ home _ , he’s not  _ that  _ gone on EJ, but it’s close to the next best place.

“Missed you”, EJ says into his hair, all soft in a way Gabe has never seen him with any other teammate, and Gabe knows he can’t read too much into it but fuck it, two-thirds of a year away from EJ wasn’t enough to make his feelings go away.

~

**FEBRUARY.** For Valentine’s Day, they have a shootout win against Minnesota and a free night before taking the plane to Edmonton the next days. Most of the team decides to go out and Gabe follows them to a quiet bar where it should be easy to not be bothered.

Gabe has a couple of beers, one shot with the rookies. He stays in the booth and watches the guys make some moves on the dancefloor, lets the discussions happen around him. He’s not that tired, feels good to be true, but it’s just -easy and relaxing- to let things flow.

He’s almost engrossed in Dutchy’s retelling of his last date when he feels movements by his sides, a shoulder colliding against his.  _ EJ _ .

“Sorry, Factor here doesn’t want to understand that his fat butt takes up all the place,” EJ explains. It gets Factor bitching at him in return before he gets pulled into another conversation, getting EJ’s attention back on Gabe. 

Gabe with his eyes on his thigh that EJ probably grabbed to stabilize himself but hasn’t let go of yet. It’s a warm contact, one Gabe doesn’t want to disappear. EJ catches his look and he apologizes again before patting Gabe’s knee and returning his hand on the table to his drink. Gabe does not whine at the loss, it’s okay, he has the lights of the bar to hide his heated cheeks anyway.

“Not too sad you can’t spend the day with your girlfriend ?” he tries to ask after a few gulps o his third beer. It has EJ confused for a second.

“Cristina? We’re no longer together,” he eventually answers, his eyes leaving Gabe’s face for his own hands before coming back. “We broke up in January? I thought I’d told you.”

And Gabe can’t for the life of him tell if EJ genuinely thought he did or if he’s bullshitting Gabe because he didn’t want to tell him, so, he decides to not comment on it. “Sucks man, I’m sorry”, he decides to settle for. It sounds wrong out of his mouth but what can he do.

“It’s not a big deal. She has her life in Bloomington, neither of us wanted to do the long-distance thing,” EJ shrugs and Gabe nods, going for his drink, needing a moment to take it in.

They get absorbed in other discussions around the table and at some point, Factor jostles EJ on his way out, because  _ obviously _ , and EJ’s hand comes back to Gabe’s thigh. This time, it stays until EJ gets up to head for the bathroom a good half hour later. Neither of them mentions it and Gabe spends the entire time wracking his brain to try to figure out if the move was intentional or not. 

_ Happy Valentines Day. _

~

**MARCH.** The season may be shortened in time but it’s still intense as hell. Gabe breathing and living hockey every day of the week. They lose more than they win and it’s a little bit frustrating.

He spends the majority of his time with EJ and it feels like his rookie year again. One day he realizes it’s been close to a year since they kissed, the subject still a taboo (not that Gabe tries to bring it up or anything).

Gabe still  _ wants _ but he swore to himself that if  _ anything  _ had to happen again, he wouldn’t be taking the first step. 

So he doesn’t. He keeps living his season and he keeps getting turned on by EJ being hot or joking some stupid innuendo and they keep having those moments where it’s too much, too close, over the  _ bros _ limit. Life goes on.

They’re at a bar in Minnesota, putting their 6-4 loss behind them when things take a new direction.

Gabe’s being hit on while he’s waiting for the bartender to notice him so he can order for the whole group. The guy’s tall, dark hair, green eyes, dimples which are only demanding to be kissed. He’s probably a couple of years older than Gabe, casual with a snapback on his head and a bright smile over his features. Gabe— Gabe’s into him, to be honest. It’s a little awkward to admit but he hasn’t been with anyone since that ill-advised hook-up he had in Stockholm back in June, one he regretted the next day.

He’s not playing the guy’s game exactly, because he can’t, not really. The attention is nice and Gabe could easily see himself making out with the guy for a while, getting on his tip-toes to kiss him deeply. The thing is, he’s with his teammates and they have a plane to catch tomorrow and that’s just— too much of a hassle for what it’s worth.

So Gabe keeps smiling and he’s laughing at something the guy said while poking his ribs when there are two hands settling on his shoulders. “Everything alright? The guys are getting a little impatient, can’t understand how, and I quote,  _ a pretty boy like you isn’t being served first. _ ” Gabe doesn’t have to move his head to know who’s standing beside him.

Gabe shrugs EJ’s hands-off, his blush probably visible even under the lights of the bar. “Just making friends. Sorry, you brats can’t wait for something for more than three seconds,” he tries to laugh, chirp probably a little too weak to land.

“Alright, I don’t want to keep you away from your buddies. Nice meeting you Gabe,” tall and handsome,  _ Matthew _ , says, a mix of frustration and disappointment replacing his smile.

Gabe winces, feeling sorry and looking the part. He gives a weak goodbye back and manages to grab the bartender’s attention before he has to meet EJ’s eyes.

“Making friends, uh,” EJ starts when they’re waiting for the drinks, his tone a little too mean.

“What, you’re afraid that I’m going to bring him to our room or that I will go to his place and miss curfew ?” he answers, honestly a little irritated at being interrupted. It might have been to be expected, being there with his teammates, but from EJ, it stings a little. “Tell me.”

“Don’t— don’t be unfair. I didn’t mean it like that.” EJ tries to explain and Gabe arches an eyebrow at him, unimpressed. “Stop, we’re not doing this now. The guys are waiting.”

Gabe bites his lower lip to not answer, grabbing the beers now in front of them to join the rest of their teammates. He stays clear of EJ for the rest of the night and outright sulk in the taxi they take together with Factor to get back to the hotel.

When they have to get ready for bed together, they do so in silence and Gabe is so frustrated he wants to scream. He should have accepted Dutchy’s shots.

“Look, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. Can you stop being mad ?” EJ asks when they’re both seating at the edge of their beds in their PJs, facing each other.

“Can I stop being mad? Can you explain why you looked at that guy like you wanted to murder him? I can’t have you but now I can’t have anyone else? That’s fucked up.” 

EJ’s head drops and it makes Gabe feel victorious for a second like this was an admission he was right. Truth be told, there are maybe dozens of possible reasons for EJ’s earlier reactions, some of them probably understandable. Doesn’t make it easier to accept it.

“You never told me.” EJ frowns and Gabe keeps going. “You never told me why kissing you was a bad idea. I thought it was a me-thing, that you didn’t like me like that. You seemed too eager for it to be a gay panic moment but I swear to god I won’t hold my punches if you start getting all homophobic on me.”

Gabe takes a big breath after that, his fingers clenched on the sheets. The threat feels weird in his mouth, words he’d never thought he’d utter in EJ’s direction. He wasn’t sure he could punch EJ, the whole concept of being mad at him and no longer having him by his sides already looking pretty fucking terrible.

EJ looks like he’d just gotten a fist connected with his jaw, face all white and tense, hunched over himself with his forearms on his knees. He finally raises his head, meeting Gabe’s eyes.

“You still like me ?”

And,  _ what. _

“Is this a trick question ?”

Maybe he should have been sober for this actually.

“Gabe,” EJ practically pleads, looking the opposite of joking. He’s playing with his thumbs, a nervous tick Gabe knows all too well, his face contorted in an expression Gabe’s not sure how to read. “ _ Fuck _ .” 

EJ rakes a hand through his short hair, some of them sticking up. He looks tired, vulnerable. Gabe wants to hug him, burrow them under the covers and not move until the next week. There is still anger buzzing under his skin but it’s like the mood has changed, EJ pulling on a switch but forgetting to make the next move. “Look, I— I don’t want to apologize for the way I feel about you because it’s not even my fault. I tried to move on but apparently, I can’t, not when you’re…  _ You.  _ And telling you I’m sorry won’t change a thing and I can promise I’ll keep trying to just... Will the feelings away but it’s not that easy. And I understand how that could make you feel uncomfortable but that doesn’t give you the right to treat me like that, ok?”

Gabe tries to never leave EJ’s eyes and he sees the flickering lights when he mentions his feelings and god, he’s probably the next thing to an expert in EJ’s expressions but he doesn’t know if it’s not just his mind begging when he kind of sees hope and fondness in there.

“I love you,” EJ mumbles to the ground before catching Gabe’s eyes again. “I love you and I have for… Fuck, the longest time. How could I not ?” He chuckles and Gabe thinks that he can feel his heart playing the fucking tambourine in his throat. “I was so fucking scared and broken when I got to the Avs. I wanted to amend myself but I had doubts and I met you and you were so… So  _ you. _ All flamboyant and eager and dedicated to making this team good. You impressed me and you were the best roommate I could have asked for. So I fell for you and yeah, I already knew I liked guys, had had some experiences in the past, but committing to something with a teammate? Risking what we had? You were still a rookie, you didn’t deserve that.”

Gabe gets up, pacing in front of his EJ while his brain is working overtime to try to confirm he heard EJ right and that EJ  _ loves him,  _ and that he decided to decide for them instead of talking with him. 

“God, you’re such an idiot, I hate you,” he starts with, stopping in front of his teammate. This might not have been what he wanted to lead with but: brain. “Did you know how that felt, to hear you saying kissing me was a mistake and then having you ignoring me for months? Good for me I won the Calder or it could have gone on forever? It fucking sucked, Erik.” EJ looks once again genuinely sorry and yeah, he better. “I forgave you because I’m dumb about you but I’m not letting that happen again.” Which is why he got mad today. Gabe had to protect himself, or try to anyway.

“I needed time, to think and to figure out how to stop being in love with you. Ignoring you was really lame and I regret it. I won’t do it again, I promise.” EJ sounds so serious, at the same time confident in his words and worried about Gabe’s reaction. For a second Gabe thinks, EJ has never looked so young. Gabe manages to be surprised when EJ’s hand reaches for his. “Will you give me a second chance, please ?”

And this, right there, the hope in EJ’s eyes, the raw honesty in his voice, their fingers linked together, is making Gabe wants to believe. He’s already inclined to do so, not 100% objective, he knows that, but hot damn, does he want to try to give this a shot.

He sits down next to EJ on the bed. “Fuck, so you really love me ?” 

EJ blushes, his smile small when he looks at Gabe from under his lashes. Gabe lets his forehead fall against EJ’s shoulder, taking a big breath right there, surrounded by EJ’s smell. He can feel EJ’s tentative arm around his waist, the hand which comes to rest against his ribs, the kiss against his temple. “Sorry for being a dumb idiot, I guess.”

Gabe can hear his laugh being echoed by EJ. 

This night, they fall asleep together, EJ’s chest a solid warmth against Gabe’s back.

~

Gabe wakes up to EJ watching him with the softest smile on his face, head balanced on his hand, elbow a mere foot away from Gabe. “It’s really weird to watch people sleep, you know that ?” He mumbles more than asks, voice syrupy with sleep. 

“It’s not creepy when I love you,” EJ says with the faintest of blush, using his free hand to caress some hair away from Gabe’s forehead.

His heart doesn’t speed up  _ too _ much but it’s there, making its presence known. Gabe has no idea what he’s launching himself into but he’s excited to try to figure it out.

~

**APRIL.** They have a bunch of other serious conversations, following that night. Because Gabe is an adult and EJ is an adult and even if they’ve been shitty at the whole communication thing until now, it looks like they both want to do well now. The secret part is not always easy but at least they’re roommates on the road, already used to spend their time at each other’s place during homestands.

The team finishes last in the West, a loss against the Wild ending their weird shortened season. It’s not where Gabe wanted to take them, not up to the standards he’d set up for his first year as a captain. EJ helps him to not get too worked up over it, by his sides when Gabe tells the team to rest and prepare this summer so next year can be different.

When EJ links his fingers with Gabe’s over the console in the car on the way home, Gabe likes to think they make a pretty good pair.

  
  


**[2013-2014]**

**NOVEMBER.** As much as he indeed was a captain to his team for the shortened season earlier in the year, Gabe does feel like he will get the full real experience now. He knows he has the skills necessary to be a leader but he wants to do good.

He makes a point of learning about the rookies. Of course, he gets to know Nate, the first overall who didn’t get sent back for another year in juniors after his draft. He reminds Gabe of himself, a little, when he arrived two years prior, young and  _ so _ motivated to be good with his team. Nate’s easy to be around, surprising when you don’t expect him to be (like,  _ the Dogg ? for real ? _ ). He fits right in with the team and right beside Gabe on the ice.

Tyson’s the one who catches Gabe’s attention the most. He’s not a rookie exactly, having played 32 of the 48 games last season. Gabe technically knows him, is aware that they had conversations together a few months ago. Chirping Tyson and listening to him is so natural, Gabe wonders why he missed that last year. And then he remembers the intensity of a rapid season, figuring things out with EJ.  _ Spending every spare minute with EJ, catching up for the lost time _ . Anyway, Gabe had been busy but he intended to do better. His whole team deserved it.

~

**DECEMBER** . Gabe hosts the team party for Christmas, a decision that has his house full of happy drunk hockey players before 10 PM even rolls around. It’s good though, to have everyone around, relaxed. They started the year with a 10-1 record and got nine more victories in November. It makes their December look like a slump but Gabe is confident in their ability to get things back together after Christmas.

At one point during the night, when there are not a lot of people late, Gabe pauses the entry of his living room, shoulder against the doorframe. Over there in the corner, he observes Nate and Tyson, snuggling together on the recliner that was designed for one person. Gabe spots a free place on the couch but they seem to be better like that, legs tangled, laughing and shoving at each other, probably bickering about something stupid.

Gabe swears, he barely starts when there’s an arm being looped around his waist, EJ hooking his head above his free shoulder. “They remind me of us,” EJ murmurs against Gabe’s ear, making him shudder.

Gabe chuckles, intertwining his fingers with EJ’s where they lie against his stomach. “I’m sure they’ll be way better than us at figuring their shit out.” 

EJ snorts in answer. “I have no idea why you would say that.”

There’s a kiss pressed against his neck that Gabe allows because he’s most confident in the fact that no one is looking at them right now. He allows them another minute of this before he has to break them up, rolling his eyes when EJ makes a protesting noise and Gabe squeezes his hand in a promise.  _ Later _ .

EJ puts his hand on the small of Gabe’s back while they make their way to the couch. Gabe lets him.

~

**FEBRUARY.** Watching EJ and Nate together makes Gabe’s heart swell with so much joy, it’s hard to keep his smile for himself sometimes. 

“You’ve got a nice 1st overall thing going on,” Gabe says one night while he trails his fingers up and down EJ’s abs, catching on the little blond hair that often leads him somewhere interesting.

“Sure,” EJ answers, not mad but kind of clipped. Gabe raises his head to reach EJ’s face, kissing him, reminding him that he’s good and that he loves him, no matter what happened in his career in contrast to the expectations that had been put on him. 

“Don’t worry, he’s going to win the Calder and then you’ll have something in common too.”

“Yeah, he will.”

And Gabe keeps the discussion at that, kissing EJ again with more intent this time. He feels EJ smile against his lips and hands roam up his ribs to catch on his shirt.

This— this isn’t a competition. This isn’t about who’s gonna get the most attention from the rookie. They just both want what’s best for him, is all.

~

**JUNE.** Gabe’s in Stockholm when he gets to wake up with the news that Nate won the Calder Trophy, several people asking for his opinion and how it feels to be followed two years later by the new star of the franchise.

Ignoring everyone, Gabe opens his text discussion with Nate to send a congratulating text. He has barely started dressing himself up when he hears the vibrations of his phone ringing in his bedsheets.

“Nate ?” Gabe asks, surprised.

It’s his teammate’s name on the screen but Gabe hears a lot of noises on the other side, music, some rustling, and finally, a voice he’s heard screaming at him, in the good and bad times alike, all year on the ice. “Hey Gabe, sorry, I had to get out so I could hear you.”

With such few words, it’s hard to tell for sure if Nate’s voice is slurred but Gabe wouldn’t bet on his sobriety right now. “Hey, isn’t it like—” he checks his watch on the bedside table, tries to do the maths, “close to 2 am over there ?”

“Hm, wait,” there’s a pause and Gabe has to chuckle when he imagines Nate taking his phone away from his ear to check the time. “Yeah,” he eventually comes back. “We went out to celebrate, you know Vegas. I haven’t seen Sid in awhile but I think he’s not too far. He’s trying to not let people sneak me drinks but let me tell you he’s better at putting up points than playing chaperone.”

Gabe laughs and Nate laughs with him, easy. “Well enjoy, text me when you get to your room so I know you didn’t get drunk married or drunk tattooed, and don’t worry all day about those kinds of atrocities.”

Nate honest to god giggles and well, it shouldn't be cute but it kind of is. Because he’s drunk. And Gabe just woke up. He’s still soft from sleep and everything.

“Will do. Try to. Don’t be mad at me if I fail, I can’t have you be disappointed in me. You’re my captain and we’re Calder Trophy brothers now.”

“Yeah Nate, we are.”

Gabe isn’t gratified with an answer but he hears a weird noise, then some new ones, like footsteps, a curse, some new ruffling, and finally, Nate’s voice again. “Sorry, got crashed into by a drag queen, I think. There’s quite the crowd out here. Anyway, thank you, Gabe, for the text, and for this season, this wouldn’t have happened without you.”

Gabe shrugs before he can remember that Nate can’t see him. “It was a team effort then, added to your talent.”

“I mean, yeah, the team helped, everyone was great and EJ helped a lot with my nerves and the expectations on my shoulders and Tyson was always the best at knowing when I needed to loosen up but you guided me to Gabe. Took your time with me when you could have delegated and everything, it meant a lot to me. You played your part in this too.”

And did Gabe expect a declaration like that at 11 on a Wednesday morning? No, he did not.

“Thanks buddy, it was a pleasure. I’m always here for you, you know that ?”

“Yeah, I do, because you’re great like that. I think I should head out to find Sid now before I give him a heart attack from thinking I got killed in the middle of Vegas or something.”

“You go do that.”

“Yeah. I go do that. Good night Gabe, love you.”

Gabe, he’s being hung up on before he has the time to correct Nate or say  _ goodbye, love you too _ back.

~

**JULY.** Tyson spends the summer texting him and sending him pics of his daily life.

_ i’m pretty sure exercising that much can be too bad for your body _

**_you’re doing it for hockey tho, it’s worth it_ **

_ doing it for my captain and my captain only _

Gabe feels his cheeks heat a little when he reads Tyson’s message and he tries not to think for too long before he gets up from his couch to lift his shirt and take a selfie showing off his abs.

**come one, few more reps and you’re getting the same**

It takes a while for Tyson to answer, three dots appearing and then disappearing on the screen of his phone. For one instant, he’s afraid he did something wrong.

_ ……………. _

_ that was very unfair of you _

_ you’re too hot for the rest of this world, please stop _

**right back at you buddy**

The discussion dies down after that and Gabe is left with a smile and a warm feeling in his chest and somewhere behind his face. 

And wait, did he just flirt with Tyson? It’s not like their conversation had screamed something utterly different from what they were used to.

Gabe screenshots the discussion and sends it to EJ whose only reply is a demand to have a bigger version of this selfie and  _ please can you take some more clothes off and maybe call me so I can see some live action while we’re at it _ .

Gabe has FaceTime sex with EJ. Tyson doesn’t text him to tell him he was being inappropriate. 

So, things are good.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am extremely sorry that this took forever to finish. I wasn't able to add to it for months and then inspiration came back in January and February so here we are. Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Trivia fact: this is now my longest fic ever written.

**[2014-2015]**

**SEPTEMBER.** Nate comes to him during the pre-season, exuding excitement and determination, and with a very serious face, he tells Gabe about all the thoughts he had concerning the team during the summer.

He talks about the games he studied and the new drills he found out that worked on him and could be useful for some of their forwards. He speaks about the meal plan he adopted and the power plays techniques he’d love for them to try.

Nate lays his plans in front of him and Gabe listens as 19 years old explains to him how they’re gonna make it back to the playoffs again and goes even farther away.

He could be presumptuous, assume that since he’s the new face of the franchise and the bright star among the rest of them, he can play coach and rule them all to his will. Except it’s not like that, at all. 

It’s beautiful and interesting in the best of ways, what Gabe sees when he watches Nate move his fingers around to explain something, getting his phone out of his pocket so quickly it almost falls from his hands when he can’t wait to show Gabe a video, his shoulder pressed against Gabe and big serious eyes looking up to him from time to time, gauging his reactions.

“Seems like Sid taught you a lot over the summer,” Gabe says, amused when Nate finally allows himself to take a break in his new speech.

“Yeah, he’s really amazing. He’s an incredible guy and an amazing captain and he just knows _so much_.”

Gabe hums noncommittally. 

The lights of admiration in Nate’s eyes are kind of cute to watch, Gabe’s almost sad to see them go when Nate realizes what he just said.

“Wait, you’re great too. I didn’t mean it like—” And Gabe stops him, laughing and jostling him to the side to make him stop sweating. Doesn’t keep a soft blush from appearing on Nate’s face. “You’re a good captain Gabe, I’m glad to have you.”

Gabe thinks back on the discussion they had this summer after the Calder results and thinks once again that getting that first overall pick is the best thing that happened to the Avs lately. He knows that Nate is solid and eager and oh so _talented_. He’ll be captain one day, Gabe already knows.

“You and me Gabe, we’re gonna be amazing. The whole team. We’ll show them.”

~

**JANUARY.** Gabe has to handle an appointment at the bank after practice and when he’s done, he uses his key to EJ’s house to let himself in.

He hears the sound of the shower running after his first steps in the hallway and that’s definitely because he’s expecting EJ to be in the bathroom that Gabe practically jumps out of his skin when he sees the back of someone’s head on the couch.

Tyson fucking screeches at him in return. “The fuck Gabe, you scared the shit out of me.”

Gabe’s heart eventually starts slowing down in his chest and that’s when he finally takes in Tyson in front of him, dressed in sweatpants that are a little too long for his legs and a sweatshirt that has a clear burgundy 92 over his heart.

“Sorry,” Tyson apologizes, looking the part. “EJ did say you would probably be coming but I was on my phone, I didn’t hear you coming in.”

“It’s okay, my heart’s apparently solid enough to survive a meeting with some burglars. Good to know.”

Tyson winces at that when Gabe was expecting at least the outline of a smile. Tyson’s not meeting his eyes exactly and that makes Gabe realize how small he looks in the too-big clothes, how tired he seems to be with the dark bags under his eyes.

It makes something pang in his chest, to see Tyson like that. He’d like to take a couple of steps forward to wrap him up in a hug but given his skittering look, Gabe’s not sure Tyson would allow it. Which: kind of hurts, in a weird way.

Gabe decides to sit down on the couch, leaving a couple of feet of distance to Tyson for him to breathe. “EJ in the shower ?” He goes for the safe territory.

“Yeah,” Tyson nods. “I showered first and he gave me some of your clothes because his would have just looked ridiculous on me.”

Gabe tries to imagine and that allows him to share a small laugh with Tyson, obviously thinking the same.

“We— We came here after practice,” Tyson decides to continue. “I’ve been fighting with my dad for about a week and EJ knew about it. He heard me having an argument with him on the phone after practice and he kind of didn’t give me a choice when he brought me here.”

“You should have told me,” Gabe frowns, not liking the fact that he was unaware of a problem in one of his teammates' lives. In _Tyson_ ’s life.

“Don’t do that, this is a defense thing.”

“Having problems with your dad is not a defense issue, Tys.”

Tyson sighs and he’s saved from having to answer by the doorbell ringing.

“EJ ordered Chinese. I think he put in your order too.”

Gabe nods, gets up to go take care of the door. Tyson has been joined by EJ when Gabe comes back in the living room, his hair damp, some rivulets of water running down his temple. Gabe uses all his willpower to not reach for him and caress the drops away with his thumb.

They eat on the couch avoiding all the questions Gabe would like answered. EJ coax Tyson into telling him about the last show he’d started watching on Netflix and they bitch together about the awful shirt Dutchy had come into practice with. 

Once they’re done with their food, EJ forces all of them to stay where they are to watch the first Captain America because only Chris Evans’ abs can put Gabe to shame and he needs to be reminded of it once in a while. The declaration makes Tyson laugh and Gabe decides that it’s enough to not slaughter EJ right there.

EJ installs himself on the corner of the sectional, bringing Tyson with him so he can rest with his back to EJ’s chest, one arm thrown around his waist. Tyson doesn’t protest, snuggling closer, and it’s no surprise considering how much of a contact slut he can be sometimes.

Also, Gabe knows too well how comfortable EJ can be, he understands Tyson perfectly. Gabe decides to lie down on the other part of the couch, his feet close to Tyson’s hip. It’s not the best position but Gabe plans to read through articles Nate sent him on his phone anyway.

It takes half an hour for EJ to fall asleep, his snoring not so gently filling the air in the room. Maybe Gabe has a fond smile on his face, whatever. He barely jumps when Tyson grabs his ankle, his touch light when he rubs Gabe’s skin with his thumb.

“Hey, are you mad at me for not telling you about my dad? Because it’s not that much of a deal.”

Tyson looks genuinely concerned and Gabe hates himself for having reacted so poorly earlier.

“No, Tys, I’m sorry. You don’t have to tell me everything. I just wish I could have been there for you. I’m glad you let EJ help anyway.”

The smile Tyson throws in his direction makes him look so _soft_ and so _young_ , Gabe’s brain is having a hard time computing. “Well, you ended up being here for me anyway, didn’t you ?”

“Yeah, I guess I did,” and then, because he can’t keep things _that_ sentimental, he tries to push his foot into Tyson’s thigh. “Now schh, be careful, you’re gonna miss the revelation of America’s abs.”

Tyson squeezes his ankle. “I prefer Sweden’s.”

“No, you don’t,” Gabe manages after a second too long and he sees Tyson laughing before his attention is back on the movie.

Gabe spends the next hour running tons of information in his skull, trying to figure some stuff out. The thing is, when he looks at EJ and Tyson on the other side of the couch, it doesn’t feel that it’s Tyson that Gabe is jealous of.

~

**MARCH.** EJ invites Nate over for dinner. Gabe learns about it when he finds EJ in the kitchen at 6 pm, way earlier than usual.

Gabe’s been living half at his apartment and half in EJ’s house since the beginning of last season. The two of them have clothes and toiletries stuff in both places. Being at Gabe’s means being closer to the rinks while being at EJ’s means having a garden and the comfiest couch/tv combo. It’s like having it all while still having some independence and the possibility to maintain some pretense to the team.

“Should I go ?” Gabe tries to ask because he knows EJ and Nate have had this dinner together at least once a week going on since almost the beginning of Nate’s rookie season. The 1st overall thing that did so much good for the two of them.

He fundamentally _knows_ that he’s probably welcomed but still.

EJ rolls his eyes. “He smiled like a happy puppy when I told him you would be there. I also told him he should bring Tyson before I get murdered when he finds out I made actual food I didn’t let him taste.”

Gabe feels dumb for a second but then he chuckles and goes to rinse his hands before joining EJ in front of the cutting board. “What do you need me to do ?”

A couple of hours later, Gabe opens the front door to find his teammates on EJ’s doorstep. Nate with a nice shirt peeking from under his jacket, Tyson with a bottle of wine in his hands.

“Hi. I told Tyson that he didn’t have to because this isn’t a double-date or anything,” is the first thing Nate says when Gabe does a double-take on the alcohol. 

He doesn’t have any time to ask because Tyson is immediately taking over. 

“This dinner not being a double date because Nate and I aren’t dating, FYI. And yes, don’t bother, we know we could be and that would be okay and you would support us, blah blah blah, we know. But we really aren’t dating, so, no need to be okay with anything here. Except, well—”

“Tyson stops,” Nate interrupts him. “I think you just broke our captain.”

Gabe blinks and then he notices EJ by his side, one hand light on his back. “Babe, I’m gonna have to hire a new host if that’s how you take care of our guests. You’re supposed to let them in.”

Gabe stays stunned for one more second and then EJ’s hands are maneuvering him to the side so Nate and Tyson can eventually come in. No one mentions the _babe_ or the double date thing and it merely takes a minute for everyone to get a glass in hands and for laughs to already fill the house.

○○○

“Tyson said they weren’t dating. I’m very confused right now.” When he looks at EJ, Gabe knows that they are not on the same page. “Wait, did you know about this? Or the lack of this ?”

They’re taking care of some final chores in the kitchen or rather Gabe watches EJ dry the plates while he sits on the counter, feet dangling in front of him. EJ had sent Tyson and Nate upstairs to the guest room, insisting to host them instead of them ordering an uber. To be quite honest, it hadn’t taken much convincing, what with Nate wrapped in a blanket on the couch and Tyson practically already asleep with his head on Gabe’s lap.

The idea of both Nate and Tyson being close, happy, _safe,_ makes something very pleasant settle over Gabe.

“Nate might have been asking me for some relationship advice lately,” EJ answers carefully. Gabe levels a stare at him and EJ rolls his eyes, jerking his head towards the stairs. When Gabe keeps looking at him expectantly, he finally gets closer to him, hands lights on his knees.

He knows it’s not polite to gossip about their guests but EJ can’t leave him hanging. He just needs that one more bit of information.

“I told him that if the person he was interested in ended up being an idiot, I’d gladly take him on the most romantic date of his life and then I’d take him home and make agonizingly sweet love to him,” EJ explains the way he would have detailed a drill to a rookie. 

The image of Nate and EJ together pops up in Gabe’s mind and he immediately has to adjust himself over his jeans. EJ smirks and Gabe has to poke him in the ribs.

“You can’t do anything romantic,” he decides to retort.

EJ shrugs. “You should come with me then. I’m sure Nate would very much be into that too.”

 _Fuck fuck fuck_. That’s even less the kind of things he should be imagining right now. When Gabe grabs EJ to bring him fully between his legs, it’s the first time in a long time that EJ throws in a mysterious look Gabe can’t decipher.

He doesn’t have much time to study it, though, EJ leaning in to place a kiss first on his cheek, then down his neck, his stubble tickling Gabe’s jaw. “Stop,” Gabe says, and he can admit he’s been more convincing more than a couple of times in his life.

Gabe feels EJ’s smile against his skin and he decides to be the bigger person, using his hands to make EJ draw back. “Come on, no fooling around when the kids are upstairs.”

“Tyson’s older than you, you know that, right ?”

“Shut up,” he answers and there’s no heat behind the words. 

Gabe allows them ten solid minutes of making out and then they’re making their way upstairs. He will fully recognize they both have stupid fond smiles on their face when they go by the slightly left open door and find Tyson and Nate lightly snoring, bodies tangled together over the sheets.

~

**JULY**. Gabe spends a few weeks with EJ during the summer and that’s when he gets to actually see the dates he has with Nate on Thursday nights.

“It’s not a date Gabe. It’s a first overall thing, sorry you’re just missing a spot to get in. We’re getting McDavid in there soon though,” EJ says one day with the faux-serious face he uses when he wants to mock Gabe.

Gabe socks him in the ribs in return and EJ laughs this big open mouth laugh of his before pulling Gabe into him so they can kiss.

“I can arrange a date between you and Nate if you really want to, though,” EJ says quietly, Gabe still in his arms. His voice is lacking mischief for it to sound like an actual joke and, _what_.

“Uh,” is the only elegant answer Gabe can come up with.

“I mean, I know months ago I told you _I_ would take Nate on the most romantic date of his life because he deserves it but you could do it instead, I know you would be good too. You take Nate to talk hockey stats under the stars and in the meantime, I take Tyson to my favorite restaurant and treat him to the best desserts. Then you come home and we tell each other all about it. I guess you don’t even have to come home alone, that would be even more interesting.”

EJ’s looking at him with that _look_ , the one which is half innocent and half challenging. EJ’s always had this way of throwing things out in the wild like they were nothing to let Gabe figure them out. And the thing is, Gabe’s gotten good at reading him. When EJ doesn't want to talk about his feelings, he uses looks and metaphors, which Gabe gets better every day at deciphering.

This though, Gabe— Gabe’s not sure what he’s supposed to do with.

“Are you serious ?” is the one question that comes out because for some reason, EJ isn’t exactly joking and it echoes to some situations from the last few months, and maybe if he let himself think about it, a whole lot of _what-ifs_. 

EJ shrugs before leaning in to press a kiss against Gabe’s cheek. “They both deserve someone nice. We’re nice. Simple observation, don’t wrack your brain too much around it.”

 _Simple observation_. God, EJ.

Gabe nods, pushes his hands against EJ’s hips to lean away after one last kiss. “Okay, go on then, you’re going to be late. Don’t make Nate wait.”

And just like this, EJ smiles and goes to the patio to Skype Nate from under the sun.

They don’t brush the subject again for the rest of the summer but Gabe can’t say he doesn’t think about it. He almost tries to tell EJ about it but then he looks at him and he imagines the _what-ifs_ , and it makes for pretty pictures. It’s scary though, and weird, something he shouldn’t even be thinking about in the first place.

He still sometimes says hi to Nate when he is on EJ’s screen and he has this snap streak with Tyson that they keep maintaining. It’s all good.

  
  


**[2015-2016]**

**SEPTEMBER**. Gabe sets up a barbecue at his place during the pre-season, the perfect occasion for everyone to catch up after the summer and to start breaking the ice with the rookies. Gabe puts Tyson and EJ in charge of food, Nate and Factor in charge of alcohol, and Dutchy responsible for the music. For how chaotic they can be sometimes, it works out pretty well.

The weather is good to them and they spend most of their time outside, between a hot dog and a round of ping pong, a beer, and another one of Factor’s stories.

Guys with families leave the earliest but when the sun starts to set, the sky on the darker side of orange and air a little chilly, most of the rest of the team follows. It comes down to just him, EJ, Tyson, and Nate, and it’s just logical for them to all stay a little more. They do some of the cleanup and hang around some more until EJ has to go to bed (“I’m not old, shut the fuck up or I’ll find you”) and Nate follows (“I have important shit to do tomorrow, stop it already”), heading for the guest room he’s already slept in a vast number of times.

“Thanks, you’re really good at this,” Tyson says when Gabe comes back from the kitchen with a glass of water for each of them. They’re still outside, sharing Gabe’s outdoor couch, Tyson wearing one of Gabe’s old Kitcheners hoodie. It’s a little too big on him but it makes for a nice sight, Gabe can’t help to idly think.

“I’m really good at preparing glasses of water? You should tell the NHL, might make my ratings go up.”

He gets punched in the shoulder for his efforts, which: whatever, deserved. His lips stretch into a smile.

“You’re so dumb, they should put _that_ in your ratings.”

“And my abs alone should grant me ten more points in NHL 15, we been knew,” Gabe chuckles when he catches Tyson rolling his eyes in answer. “So, what did you mean to say? What am I really good at ?”

Gabe watches as Tyson ducks his head, blush noticeable on his cheeks. Gabe’s pretty sure it wasn’t here before and isn’t alcohol-related. They didn’t drink that much today, switched to water a while ago. Right now, he just has the remains of a buzz going on, head light, and body warm in the good kind of way. He pokes Tyson’s arm with his fingers.

“Don’t take this too seriously, your head’s already big enough as it is but, like, I’m glad you’re my captain,” Tyson admits, eyes eventually meeting Gabe’s.

“And I’m glad I’ve got you in my team buddy.”

“Yeah yeah,” Tyson chuckles and Gabe almost worries for a second that Tyson doesn’t believe him. “It’s just, you’re good at life. You’re not even 23 and you already have your shit figured out. You’re a respected hockey player and you have a boyfriend who plays hockey with you while being amazing and… I don’t know, I hope I can get a bit of that too, one day.”

 _Oh_. That was unexpected. Tyson’s back to ducking his head, hiding his face from Gabe which— no, Gabe doesn’t want that.

“I’m sorry,” Tyson faces him again though his eyes look more fixed on Gabe’s shoulders than anything. “I didn’t mean to be depressing. I swear I’m good and I’m not a sad drunk. I’m not even drunk. Seeing everyone again must have made me emotional or something, it’s finished, I’m good, change of subject, remember—”

Gabe doesn’t think it through. He’s listening to Tyson and what he sees is Tyson looking sad and embarrassed, which isn’t supposed to happen, not on his watch. He sees Tyson in his Kitcheners sweatshirt, the one with his number on the left shoulder. He sees Tyson with EJ’s snapback on his head and the tan he got this summer sunbathing at home, a home Gabe could almost swear he has visited for all the pictures Tyson has sent to him the last couple of months.

It’s just— _instinct_ , to reach out for Tyson’s cheek with one hand and to cut him in the middle of a sentence with a kiss.

Tyson freezes, his body static against Gabe until something clicks and he pushes back, one hand grabbing Gabe’s shirt to bring him closer and kiss him deeper. It feels so good it makes Gabe wonder why he didn’t do that sooner.

It doesn’t last for long.

It lasts until they take a break for air and Gabe gasps a “Fuck, Tys” against Tyson’s lips and it makes Tyson freeze again before he gets up and takes a few steps back.

“Fuck,” Tyson starts and he sounds so panicked, Gabe gets up. “No stays there. Fuck Gabe, what the fuck was that ?”

The request to not move and the question feel like a bucket of ice water has just been dropped on Gabe. “I— I’m sorry.”

“Oh god, and EJ’s just upstairs. I can’t do that to him. This is wrong.”

 _EJ’s upstairs and he probably would have wanted to be here for that_. “Tyson, please—” He tries to take a step forward and Tyson takes another in the opposite direction. It stings. A lot.

○○○

The only reason why Gabe succeeds in convincing Tyson to sleep here is that they came together with Nate and they have plans for the next day and yeah, Dogg doesn’t deserve to be let down like that. It’s a miracle that Gabe gladly takes.

To make things less awkward, he waits outside for a long time before finally going upstairs. He thinks he did his best to be quiet but EJ still turns overs and looks point-blank in the eyes after five minutes of Gabe fidgeting in bed. There’s not much light in the room but it’s still enough to notice how concerned EJ is.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up,” Gabe whispers.

“What’s wrong ?” EJ asks, bringing his thumb forwards to rub the wrinkles away in the space between Gabe’s eyes, a gesture he knows too well.

“I kissed Tyson,” the words come out immediately. “We were talking and he was here and it just— felt right. It didn’t last for long but... I’m sorry.”

“Tyson kissed you back but he was the one to stop everything ?”

Gabe nods and he can hear his own heart beating in the silence that follows. EJ’s hand has drifted down to his nape, just holding on there, and Gabe wonders if he maybe should turn the light on and put some distance between them. He doesn’t really want to, he’d much prefer to be the little spoon and drown everything out right now but that’s not exactly an option. He needs to be honest, EJ deserves that. 

“I’m sorry,” he says again and he feels EJ’s hand squeezing his neck.

“Stop apologizing, it’s okay Gabe,” EJ answers very quietly, which, _what_. “I mean, I would have much preferred to be there for it but, hey, I understand.”

Gabe can’t help his small laugh. In theory, he’d _guessed_ that but there was a difference between the jokes they’d made quite a few times and the actual reality of things.

“You know what? I’m the one who’s going to apologize because this has been a long time coming thing and I probably should have brought the subject up earlier.”

Gabe thinks back to this summer, the “dates”, how happy he was to see Nate and how much he cares about Tyson, and how the times they’re all together just work and make him feel good, happy. 

It sounds like a fucked-up situation but it’s been in the build-up for years now, it might be time for them to finally do something about it. No matter if Gabe hadn’t expected today to be _the_ day.

“I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t want to fuck everything up,” Gabe admits.

“I know, and we can’t be perfect but I’m here, yeah?” EJ keeps on rubbing the skin on Gabe’s neck but Gabe can hear the little tilt in his voice, the one that betrays EJ and lets Gabe know he’s not 0% scared. “But I think it’s worth it to try, don’t you ?”

Gabe nods and he closes the space between them to kiss EJ, close-mouthed but firm. “I love you.”

“Love you too, that ain’t gonna change. Now come here.” EJ smiles against Gabe’s mouth and then he gets manoeuvered until he has his back to his EJ’s chest, one of his EJ’s arm solidly anchoring him.

○○○

They talk some more before Gabe manages to drift asleep and he has an overall better night than he would have hoped for. He wakes up alone and when he gets downstairs after his shower, he’s relieved to find out everyone is still there and ready to have breakfast.

Tyson won’t meet his eyes but Gabe tries not to be too awkward. If Nate notices that he and EJ are the ones making 95% of the conversation, he doesn’t say anything about it.

“Can I just bother you for five minutes? Got a little something to tell you,” Gabe tells Nate and Tyson when they’re almost ready to go. Nate throws a questioning look at him while Tyson goes for the murder eyes but they both eventually end up on one of the couches, Gabe and EJ on the other one.

“I kissed Tyson last night,” Gabe starts with because he’s not sure there is an exactly good build-up to this.

Tyson turns bright red, eyes fixed on the ground in front of him. Nate isn’t much better, expression complicated but a blush high on his cheeks.

“Hm, first, I didn’t need to know that. Second, why the fuck am I sitting here for this ?” Nate reacts and he sounds— annoyed, which: okay. 

“Nate please, sit down,” Gabe orders when he sees Nate starting to get up. He doesn’t mean to use his captain voice but it just works, so. “There are a few things I need to tell you. Both of you,” he makes a point of catching both of their set of eyes before going on. “I think I’ll speak for both EJ and me here, don’t worry he’ll cut me off if he disagrees with something.”

That earns him a low chuckle from both Tyson and EJ. Nate’s features are still harsh lines-- his annoyance still there. It almost makes him look like he’s sulking.

“Okay,” Nate eventually huffs and Gabe takes it as his cue to start. He still has no idea how he wants to go about this.

“We want to date you,” he finally goes for. “The two of you.”

“You want a foursome ?” Nate’s looking at him like he grew two heads.

“It’s definitely an idea for later, to get sex in the picture,” EJ answers. He’s a little nervous too, Gabe can tell. “But it’s not like, the priority here.”

“So what the hell are you talking about then?” 

The question this time comes from Tyson and Gabe thinks that’s the first words he heard from him this morning. He still looks annoyed but his tone is a little too soft for his words. Gabe thinks he hears a note of interest in there but he might be projecting.

“Dates,” Gabe starts again. “Taking you out, having you spend the night here, sharing more stuff all together, being there for you when everything is shitty, making you happy…” He pauses when he isn’t sure how to continue his list. “Kind of what’s been happening but more. Without anyone else in the picture.” Nate’s looking at them with his brows furrowed and Tyson’s looking at their feet with an expression Gabe isn’t sure how to read. “Tyson, yesterday you told me that I had my life put together with my NHL boyfriend but the truth is I have no idea what I’m doing half of the time but I would love for you to be involved. You can have hockey boyfriends too.”

Tyson doesn’t seem to have an answer for that, his mouth opening a little and staying like that for a long moment. Nate reacts instead. “Sorry. This once again sounds very Tyson-related, can I go now ?”

Gabe takes a big breath and wonders not for the first time in the last ten minutes if he went with the right approach here. To be fair, there probably isn’t a perfect way to go about negotiating a polyamorous relationship between people who barely know what they’re doing but anyway. If Nate needs, like, a declaration of his own, Gabe can give him that too.

“I have at least three of your awful rap songs in my morning playlist, you’re the only person in this World who I’ll wake up at 6 in the morning for because you need to go on a run with me while you tell me about all the new schemes you want to test on the power-play and I think you’re the best thing that happened to EJ these last two years even if he probably won’t admit it.”

Gabe realizes what he just said when the words are already out and when he turns his head to the side, he can see the blush and faint surprise on EJ’s features. “I— yeah. I don’t have big lists of reasons to give you but I think there is an idea here, and it might be good. Worth it to give it a chance.”

Tyson’s been pacing since Nate asked his question and he stops to look at them, eyes still a little wild. “So you’re offering to keep doing the same things we’ve been doing except we hang out even more and instead of hooking up with other people we have sex with you ?”

“I mean, I think it’s a little more complicated but hm, yes.” _And then I think we’ll also have to deal with the feelings thing_ , Gabe doesn’t add.

“This is insane,” Tyson’s voice goes a little high and Gabe wants to reach for him and put a calming hand on his shoulder so bad. Tyson always reacts to life with his emotions first so Gabe should have expected that. Nate has his instinctive moments but the big things he likes to think them through, which: probably what was happening from the seat he hadn’t left since Gabe had asked him to stay put. “I’m going to go wait in the car.”

There is the smart part of Gabe’s brain who takes control to not let him go after Tyson and the room is filled with a loud silence for a moment before Nate eventually gets up too. “So this was a lot and I need to think about it. I think Tys does too, don’t be mad at him for leaving like that.”

“Of course,” EJ answers. “Take your time and you know where to find us. It would be alright to say no but please don’t become strangers.”

Nate nods and after an awkward goodbye wave, he’s gone too.

○○○

_tell Gabe I’m sorry I left like this and I’m not mad at him or you but I need time to process things_

Gabe’s heart squeezes a little when he reads the phone EJ hands to him two days later. He answers with his own cellphone.

**not mad either buddy, just wants what’s best for you, take your time**

~

**OCTOBER**. Nate and Tyson asked for time to consider things so Gabe and EJ give them time to consider things.

The situation doesn’t get awkward, exactly. They still talk during practice and they’re not avoiding each other but their usual interactions (the dinners and the jokes and the texts) are pretty absent and it’s weird. Gabe feels like he’s missing something.

It’s been nearly three weeks since their big discussion when Gabe is called to the arena for some media stuff and when he gets out of the meeting, he heads to the kitchen and finds Nate there, fixing himself a protein shake.

He approaches cautiously, grabbing a Gatorade from the fridge before leaning against one counter, looking at Nate. “Your wrist okay ?” He noticed the tape on Nate’s skins and he assumes Nate is here because of a meeting with the physio team.

“Yeah, I’m good for the game tomorrow.”

“Okay, that’s good.”

“Yeah.”

_Silence._

God, so much for not making things awkward. Gabe takes a few sips from his Gatorade, trying to think of something to say to fix this, somehow. Nate beats him to it.

“You kissed Tyson,” he states the way he would announce the last results of the Broncos.

Gabe almost chokes on his drink. He whips his head around, barely relaxes when he’s made sure that they’re alone in the room. “I did.”

Nate huffs, his shake’s now ready but he left it by the sink, preferring to wrap his arms around him, facing Gabe. Gabe can’t help but notice how big he looks like that, t-shirt hugging his shoulders and chest. God, he’s grown so much since the moment Gabe met him. 

“It could have been you. I could kiss you right here right now if you wanted me to.”

It might sound like a dare, which it’s not. Or like an offer, which— it might be, Gabe realizes once Nate is looking at him with really wild eyes and an open mouth. He eventually closes it, huffs a breath, and furrows his brows.

“Look Gabe, I’m not looking for your pity, I understand why you want Tys, he’s a total catch, it’s okay,” Nate answers, sounding bitter and a little upset.

Gabe had no idea what the ideal way to go about it was supposed to look like but god, didn’t they have bumps all over the road. He thought he made it clear how EJ and he cared about _both_ Tyson and Nate but he’ll make it clear again if it needs to. 

If Gabe puts a little hope into it, Nate sounds jealous right now, and well, in their case, jealousy means some kind of underlying attraction or feelings, right? He’ll grab onto it.

“You know, at some point last season EJ told me about your relationship queries and he said that he could take you on the most romantic date of your life because that’s what you deserve.” He pauses to assess Nate’s reaction. Gabe thinks there is the hint of a smile at the corner of his lips and it’s the cutest thing Gabe has seen in days. “I always thought this little thing he had with you, for you, was adorable. He struggled with the expectations that had been put on him at the beginning of his career and how his first seasons unfolded. It was still a work in progress when he got here but I think he truly moved on thanks to you. I never told you so but I’m really grateful for that.”

The admission just flows out before Gabe even has any time to keep it in.

“Oh, I mean, thank you? I didn’t do anything special, though.”

“You did what was needed,” Gabe shrugs. “Bottom line is, you’re good to him and I think it goes both ways. And well, I meant every word I said the other day, I truly care about you too.” Nate still has his arms crossed over his chest but the half-smile is still there, so, Gabe counts it as a win. “And you’re hot when you don’t have that awful beard you had for headshots in September. Might have helped make a guy or two fall for you,” he finishes with a chuckle to end on a lighter note. It earns him a groan and a laugh from Nate.

“And yet you kissed Tys.”

“Oh my god.”

For half a second Gabe is tempted to close the distance between them to just even things out already, make Nate stop complaining. 

“Yeah, and for the longest time, EJ and I thought something was going on between you two, so. Stuff happens or something.”

Yeah this wasn’t the most eloquent he’s been in his life, not sure where he was going with that one. Gabe finds himself absently playing with the cap of his Gatorade bottle, maybe avoiding Nate’s face for the first time today.

“You what ?” Nate asks, way too incredulous for the proofs Gabe had, in his opinion.

“We thought you were together. Or like, friends with benefits, I don’t know. You’ve always been attached at the hip and you spent all your time at each other’s place and Tys would always seek physical contact with you whenever he could and you would always take him to DQ or spend the night at his place when he wasn’t feeling okay. It just made sense.”

Now, Nate still looks surprised and Gabe wants to roll his eyes at him. God, he truly hadn’t noticed how they acted? He’s pretty sure even EJ and he were more discreet around each other when they got together.

“So when did you figure out that you were wrong, uh ?”

“That night EJ invited both of you to dinner? When Tyson beautifully informed me that you two weren’t dating, _FYI_ ?”

Yes, that sentence had kind of imprinted in his brain. He wasn’t used to having his deep beliefs invalidated like that.

Nate groans, passing both his hands over his face and looking at the ceiling for a second. He eventually levels his eyes with Gabe’s right after. “God, this is so messy. I can’t believe—”

Nate doesn’t get to finish his sentence because he gets interrupted by someone entering the kitchen, a person from the cleaning crew considering their clothes.

When he catches Nate’s face, the two of them frozen in place, Gabe _knows_ he’s not going to get to hear the end of that sentence.

“I should go, see you tomorrow,” Nate says, proving Gabe’s point, and he leaves with an awkward little wave which Gabe returns.

It’s only once Nate is gone that Gabe realizes he forgot about his shake, all abandoned on the counter.

Well, he thinks he’ll still count this exchange as a win.

~

**NOVEMBER**. “Please stop making this face, you’re going to scare all of the kids in your neighborhood. Can we come in?”

“God Nate, be nice.”

It takes Gabe a second to eventually close his mouth and smother his frown before reacting correctly, inviting his teammates in with a “Hi, sure, yeah, come in.”

For his defense, it had been two weeks since his encounter with Nate inside the cafeteria. Two more weeks of seeing Tyson and Nate at practice and games but never 1-on-1, polite but awkward exchanges that made him want to go back in time so badly.

The thing is, Gabe hadn’t expected Nate and Tyson to show up today when they could have been spending their free time doing anything else and that’s the only reason why he’s all sluggish and weird when they make their way to the living room, joining EJ who was reading on the couch. EJ looks less surprised than Gabe about the whole thing and Gabe wonders, not for the first time when the hell did he got so perceptive.

The parallel with the situation they were in just over a month ago is hard to miss —Gabe and EJ on one couch, Nate and Tyson on the other— but this time things are a little reversed. Their teammates are the ones in charge of leading the conversation today and Tyson seems way less scared than in September. Actually, he’s sending Nate an encouraging smile when he puts one hand on his shoulder, squeezes it, and leaves it there. _Oh_.

“So, hm, I can’t say this has been easy to figure out but it was all pretty unexpected, and, hm, we needed time,” Nate starts.

Gabe immediately wants to say that’s it’s okay, he understands, no need to worry about the time and everything but EJ clamps a hand on his shoulder before he has the time to say anything. God, they became really good at this reading each other thing.

“Look, I’m not the best with words,” Nate continues. “And like, Tys said I got this but...”

“You do, babe,” Tyson confirms and he sounds so fond, it makes something warm expand inside Gabe’s chest. “But I can take over if you want me to.”

The smile Nate throws in Tyson’s direction is small but intimate and Gabe doesn’t miss the tilt of Nate’s head and the way his hand squeezes Tyson’s thigh in reassurance. “I’m good, I need these two assholes to hear what I have to say.” There’s no real heat behind his words and Gabe still wants to be offended but, later. He might have deserved that anyway. “Well, first, I guess my discussion with Gabe the other day gave me a lot to think about and I talked with Tys about it and we figured our shit out.” 

Gabe catches EJ’s smile at the periphery of his vision. Nate’s cheeks are bright red and Tyson’s face is coloring too. They make for a pretty picture.

“I’m happy for you,” Gabe can’t help himself. He means it.

“Yeah, thanks or whatever,” Nate laughs and he’s a little bashful. It makes everyone in the room chuckle, tension easing a little. “So we talked some more and I swear to god after today I’ll have talked about feelings shit enough for my entire life.”

Gabe’s heart has basically been in his throat since the moment he opened his front door and now, he can feel it beating too fast, making him even more aware of his surroundings. He’s stressed, obviously, but also excited because it looks like Nate’s words are going in the right direction and he can’t wait for what’s going to come next. He can feel EJ’s hand beside his, only their pinkies linked together, not oblivious but grounding anyway, good.

“Fuck, okay, let’s go,” Nate says after a big breath and Gabe’s adrenaline spikes up a notch. “I have no idea how the fuck we’re supposed to go about this but yes EJ, I want you to take me to the most romantic date ever while Gabe takes care of Tys. Yes Gabe I want you to kiss the hell out of me. Yes, I love Tyson and we probably could have gotten together way earlier. Yes, I care— **we** care about both of you and we want to spend time with you. All of us, together. If you still want us.”

“Yes,” Gabe immediately answers because again, he can’t have self-control for this kind of thing and it’s already a miracle he hasn’t left the couch to go kiss Nate right then and there already. It earns him a warm chuckle from Tyson.

Gabe’s eyes go from Nate to Tyson to EJ and it feels like a button has been switched in the room, the energy all high but in an exciting way, all on the verge of something really good happening.

“Okay, okay, good. So there is one thing I need to do now,” Nate announces as he gets up to walk and position himself in front of EJ, one knee already on the couch. “Can I ?”

EJ nods and then Nate is straddling him right there, his whole weight on EJ’s thighs as he pushes his hands against EJ’s chest and leans in to kiss him.

Nate then turns to Gabe. “Sorry, I think we should probably take this slow but you kissed Tyson first so, I needed to make this even.”

Four distinct laughs melt in the room.


	3. Chapter 3

**[2017-2018]**

**NOVEMBER**. “Where’s my tie?”

“You don’t need a tie, babe.”

“Yes please let Tys wear a tie, I want to see Gabe’s Dad's reaction to that.”

“Erik please don’t encourage him or I’ll tell everyone about how nervous you were for your first time with them.” The words make EJ roll his eyes and the other two look well interested in the matter. “Don’t wear a tie Tys, you’re perfect like that.”

Gabe hadn’t expected this type of chaos when he’d joined the guys in Nate’s room a half-hour ago. Except well, to be fair, he kind of did. He knows they all are a mix of nervous and exited at the idea of having dinner with Gabe’s parents and his twin sister, Gabe is too.

Learning that they would play two games in Stockholm had been incredible news. Seeing his partners in his hometown and having the occasion to make them visit the city through his eyes all afternoon had been the best gift this beginning of the season could have given him.

He had the occasion to take EJ there, a couple of summers ago, but this is Nate and Tyson’s first time and watching them wander the streets where Gabe grew up, passing the rink where he learned how to skate and the park where he spent most of his afternoon? It’s a little disorienting and so good at the same time.

Putting all the guys and his immediate family around the same table for one meal has been an easier decision to make than Gabe would have expected. He expressed his doubts and Beatrice told him everything would be fine and well, it all came together.

Gabe doesn’t owe a label to anyone on something that is _theirs_ and theirs only but he does want his parents to understand how much these three men he got the luxury to meet at some point in his life now mean to him. 

EJ, Nate, Tyson; they’re all his partners. He looks at them and he feels so warm it would be embarrassing if he wasn’t comfortable with how much he loves them.

Two years ago, they decided to give this a try, launch themselves in this unknown with the only assurance that all of them would give it their best efforts. Gabe won’t say they went slow like they initially planned on. He won’t say it has been a smooth journey without any communications issues. They all jumped it with their whole personality, strengths and weaknesses alike, and obviously, it created fire here and there. There will be more in the future, that Gabe already knows.

No relationship can ever be perfect and Gabe loves theirs because they built it like that from scratch and he wouldn’t trade all the arguments and debates and sulking episodes for anything else.

“I’m not sure Gabe’s mom wants to see Tyson with a huge hickey on his throat.”

“I don’t mind, though it’s always really weird when he has his teeth in.”

“Look, I’m bored and you took off your shirt, that was just inviting.”

“Oh my god.”

Yeah, not trading it away anytime soon.

**Author's Note:**

> come talk to me on tumblr @ macknnons :)


End file.
